Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Sad Day

Today, my sweet daddy would have been 57 years old....its been almost two years since he passed and it still hurts the same. Lately, I have really been struggling with missing him and second guessing myself over his care and if I could have done anything else to help him(although I know I shouldn't). People tell me that it gets better with time...you never quit missing them, but that you get to a point where you don't bust into tears when something makes you think of them.......I know that will come with time. I decided to re-post what I wrote last year because I feel the same today. This is just my way of dealing with things....................

I contemplated blogging about this because it is a rather personal thing, and I try to only blog about Holden and other happy things. However, I thought this could be a good way for me to release what I am feeling and be able to deal with it a little easier. "My therapy" I guess you could say. He went on to Heaven on November 26 of last year, and it has been hard to deal with at times and this occasion is one of those hard times. My daddy was a wonderful daddy and friend! I have the best memories of him! He was a very involved daddy and always made time to do things with me. I was a daddy's girl....his hugs could make the worst hurts somehow feel better. November 2007 was a tough month and watching my big, strong daddy become so frail was one of the hardest things. We had some good visits over that month. I kick myself a lot with "if i had only" or "i should have done..." Losing him was the toughest thing I have ever experienced. The thought of never seeing him again takes my breath and hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. But, I know that it is a part of life. I think the hardest thing for me is knowing Holden will never know his pops! Daddy was so excited about becoming pops...he would tell anyone in the hospital that I was pregnant, although I was barely showing. He talked about what all he wanted to do with his grand baby and he would be loving every minute with Holden now. I do see my daddy each time I look at my precious little boy because Holden has his eyes, just like me. I know daddy watches over us and that it is a little selfish of me to want him here on Earth, but I am only human. Sometimes a girl needs her daddy, even when she is all grown up. But, I do know that he is in a much better place, where he no longer hurts and can play all the golf he wants and watch all the football he wants, and I bet he is talking the ear off of anyone who will sit still long enough. I have peace in knowing that I will see him again one day. Anyways, I could go on and on but I don't want to get bogged down. I love and miss him very much!!
Our last Christmas together....2006

Friday, September 25, 2009

GO DAWGS!!!

Running some plays to get ready for the game


Pep talk and game face on


O.k. mommy and daddy--ready to go watch the Dawgs!


We are headed to Starkville today to gear up for tomorrow's game against LSU! It will be a tough battle, but I feel like we have a shot at a win. He has a precious bubble and jonjon that he wears to the game, but this is his pre-game attire! I have a limited amount of time that his daddy will let me dress him in bubbles and jonjons. He looks soooo grown up in this jersey!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Back from my blogging break.....And Happy Belated Birthday Jack!!


Wow! The past 4 months have flown by!!! We have been busy with our day to day lives and blogging has been put on the back burner until now.....some disgruntled fans(aka grandparents) have started talking about how much they wished I would update the blog, so I plan on doing so over the next few days. To be honest, each time I have started to update it, I have felt so overwhelmed with how much I haven't posted about our sweet Holden that I decide not to blog. So, I am not going to go back and try to replay everything that has happened since May....I will just blog about some things. Holden is 16 months already!!! Where did my tiny baby go??? He has had some fun adventures this summer that I look forward to sharing with you!!

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY JACK!!!

I have other pics of my two boys but I love this one!! They are watching Holden's favorite show, The Imagination Movers, together. I am blessed to have a husband who works very hard every day so that I can be a stay at home mommy and wife. Holden LOVES his daddy and gets so excited each day when he hears the garage door open and it melts my heart to see that Jack is just as excited to see Holden when he comes in!
Thanks, Jack, for loving us!!! We love you so very much!!!!!